like a silencer.

I want to stop telling people I love you. I love you only hurts them it seems. I don’t know why this is but I find it very profound and sad. I know they are heavy words. As heavy as two words can be but it seems like to love someone (in their head) heaves upon them some expectation to retain your love. Maybe this is not the case globally, and it is just in my experience. Be that as it may, my experiences concerning this have left me particularly scarred and have more than twisted my ideas concerning functional love. Functional love. That phrase sounds stupid but I know what I mean. Naturally I am referring to the non-dysfunctional type experienced by emotionally healthy people. Might anyone be emotionally healthy enough to love someone in a non-dysfunctional way?--Can the notion of love even be non dysfunctional?--I mean, people in love do downright stupid shit. I don’t know man. I just know that the people I love seem to be better off without my mentioning anything. So from now on I suppose that’s how it’ll be. And as for the poem bursting beneath my skin? Suppose it will have to find some new paradigm, some new release valve because the faucet of love has always been a leaky one for me. The pipes aren’t strong enough and there’s too much pressure and when that shit explodes everyone I know is left hurting. I just want them not to hurt. I love you only hurts. Only provides the tight-rope walker with gravity enough to weigh them down. Only provides enough wind to fuck the plate spinner over. We all come tumbling down. Things break. Things fall apart. I will love you like a silencer.